crux

i found this image http://photos1.blogger.com/img/135/2502/1024/3.jpg on a friend's web site. she is very talented and i don't mean to rip off her art, but i thought it would fit nicely here. it reminds me of those snakes who eat eachothers' tails. two of them forming none of them. 1+1=0. i got that from a tim o'brien book ('in the lake of the woods'). the picture also reminds me of friendster.
the weather as been so cold and rainy. work has been slow and lonely... it's finals time at the uni. so many of the volunteers have been unable to make to their client meetings. this is okay. i understand how it goes especially since i was one in their shoes. in fact i choose to look at this scheduling nigthmare as karma for countless excuses. through my education, i was always busy fulfilling some imaginary yet crucial obligation when i was actually buried under a pile of blankets, stirring only periodically to hit the snooze button. i could do that fo hours. too bad i can't make a living out of that. today i was imagining a sense of permanence. i think that so many of try to attain this greatness that we think is owed us, but in reality, eventuality brings us right back home. looking at it this way, i'm tempted to find my permanence and make that happen. rather than all this 'post-apocalyptic drifter' bullshit. the world is a spectacular place, but i can only lay claim to part of it. some things of note: jamaican restaurant near my house= uncle , sam's fish market, dunbar fish market, red star=chinese joint, charlies all you can eat buffet, charlie's southern fired chicken, charlie's seafood (actually serves breakfast only), food of paradise (bronx west indian). okay time for lunch.